Telling

I don’t know what to say to you.
I could tell you…
that every time I hear your name
I feel
imaginary
continuous
punching.
Right here.
Right here in my stomach.
I could tell you…
how every time I shut my eyes
my chest feels like it might get crushed from the air that I breathe…
in.
and out.
I could tell you…
how every time I see your face.
every time I see your face…
every time I see your face I don’t even know whether I should cry or smile.
So I don’t do either.
I could tell you…
that every time I’m even in the county limits of where you are
I wish so hard.
I beg divinity.
That I might get the chance to see you.
Even if you’re across the street, holding her hand.
…That your eyes would catch mine
and that we might be unfortunately blessed with that awkward glance, pause, stare moment.
Just so that I could remember for a second,
what love is.
I could tell you…
how whenever I think of your lips on my neck
I turn up the heater…
to calm the relentless chills
that the memory of your kiss,
breaks my back with.
I could tell you…
that
I never promised anyone anything more real,
than what I promised you.
Without saying a word.
I could tell you…
how whenever I think that the bruises heavy sighs have left on my ribs,
have healed
and that my heartbeat is finally settling…
A simple affirmation of your existence
warps me through emotional havoc.
And I remember what death feels like.
I could tell you.
What you don’t know.
But everything I’d want to tell you.
You already know.

*Written by Kate*Starr, I love these words. I mean, who can't relate to this? Great job boo!